Top Ten Most Onomonpoetically Named Foods

Top Ten Most Onomonopoetically Named Foodstuffs


10. Babaganoush- This food is the vomit of chickpeas and eggplants, and all other sundry Mediterranean roadkill. It's therefore only fitting that its name sound like the act of hurling.


9. Tibbs- I am a big lobbyer for Ethiopian food, and one of the dishes at my favorite restaurant is this food, which is just as it sounds- small nibby bits of beef tips that you wrap in ngera before imminently devouring.


8. Baguette- As a bakery connesseur, I have to say that the name here implies definite function. Bagette--> Bag-it. You buy it, put it in a bag, and bike home, feeling très distingué(e).


7. Tapenade-You tap the jar as the name would suggest, but that dubious-looking substance just won't come out of the jar. It's like bloody groundhog day, I swear. Six more years of condiment winter!


6. Fritatta -In my experience with both Fritattas and condescending douchebags, I can say that the irritation factor of the latter is determined nigh-on exclusively by the amount consumed of the former. Just say the word. Fri-ta-ta. Sounds chock-full of supercilious faux-culturedness.


5. Orzo- When speaking the name of this word (unless you're the Predator, or something) your mouth forms these little granular shapes that are almost literally illustrative of the shape of these little guys.


4. Ramen- Sounds like a prayer at the time, but you feel guilty for speaking it afterwards. Enough said.


3. Couscous- Sounds exactly like the falling of these little granular whatever-they-ares. Rice? Chickpeas? I really honestly have no idea.


2. Boeuf- Yes, I know it's French. But in other news, this word literally sounds like the mental picture of a slab of meat falling onto a plate. Preferably au jus. With some potatoes.


1. Shish Kebab- Sounds perfectly onomatopoetic, like the sound of sliding, and percussive cooking, courtesy of a pointy stick and some flames. Cue the 2001: A Space Odyssey music, please. My obelisk of meat and I have an urgent engagement.



Rosetti here. So, deconstruction-wise, my need to assign deeper emotional value (ergo, humor) to food is either the less-than-subconscious legitimizing of my love of noms (seriously bad girl-karma. I may have to go read some Cosmo) or else my need to find humanizing aspects in almost anything. Which, by the way, is my mission statement. My other two esteemed (and far more cerebral) colleagues will doubtless have more fixed subjects, and areas of interest. I like everything- almost nothing bores me (except a weekend with the parents...) and so almost nothing will be spared in my list-making. But I promise you an explanation, at least. Maybe even some kind of blogesque insight, if I can get the hang of it. I'm a paper girl at heart, in case you haven't noticed. Well, back to the realm of pertinence. This my first entry. I use it, prove point. Point being that humanization is in all things. Also, syntax for the weak. Me, DG. You, Blogosphere. Nice to meet me, ain't it?