10 Great Movies About People With Shitty Jobs

10. Fight Club - I can easily imagine wanting to kick the stuffing out of some hot young Jared Leto bod if I had Ed Norton's job. Oh, wait. I do. Be wary, attractive male celebrities everywhere.

9. The Music Man- I am of the school of thought that says that it would suck greatly to be a librarian in River City, Iowa (the town where Chaucer is the raciest one can read. Oohh, lord, I'm gettin' my Anglo-Saxon jollies as we speak.I've been a naughty, naughty serf, Jeff...) or a traveling salesman in....anywhere. You wear that uniform, and then everyone in a small town wants to run you out on a rail. Except for the virginal librarian (ibid.) who wants to do something else involving you, running, and a rail.

8. To Sir, With Love- Sidney Poitier, as well as being top-five material on my upcoming list of old-timey silver-screen manbait, has an incredible array of (muscles? sub-zero vocal chords?) patience with the chavviest Brit Kids that I've ever heard drop their H's on-screen since Audrey Hepburn's ever-so-fair turn as a certain guttersnipe. Props, Sid. You really taught those boys something about R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

7. Psycho -Running a creepy motel would be enough to drive anyone crazy. The end.

6. Secretary- Put aside the spanking and the starving and the tree scene and all other sorts of guilty-BDSM-fantasy fodder for a minute there (and zip up your pants. I see what you did there!) and just think about this. You've gotta be a masochist to take a job that requires you to use a typewriter, in this day and age.

5. Almost Famous - I can't imagine you get to be that picky about which drug-addled member of Stillwater uses your body on any given night. It's not always gonna be Russell. Sometimes, it's going to be that muppety drummer, who later confesses that he's gay. What? He has to prove something to the guys until then.

4. Double Indemnity -The deep nuances of insurance selling and housewifery hold little appeal. Suppose I said that I only really start to like this movie when they start bantering?

3. Bleak House -Want to be a Jarndice lawyer? You can argue for generations, until your progeny's progeny are bored and headachy, and still not get anywhere, much less paid.

2. Boondock Saints -I know this is kind of obscure, but you know the part at the beginning, with the cute Irish brothers working in the Boston meat-packing plant? Do you know what kind of diseases you can get from manhandling old meat? Good, you don't want to .

1. American Psycho - Shitty, boring job by day. Inventive slashing by night. Sounds a little like another Bale role. Or five, now that I think about it. But yes, Bale, office politics. I was going to make a water cooler joke, but then realized that it wouldn't be as effective of a come-on as I'd hoped. Sorry.

DG, out.